There are days when I realize that there is more to my job and my purpose than just making clothing. It's those days when a customer comes into the store and talks about how this blog, my words, helped them to try something new or see themselves in a new, positive light. That's when I feel a deep sense of gratefulness for the opportunity to connect with you through this brand, the clothing, and through being a flawed and imperfect human being.
This is a way to CONNECTION - one of the pillars of my brand. It's finding the touch points between you, to the team, and myself through the clothing or messages we share with each other. I struggle through life sometimes, it's not all style videos and designing new clothes. And as I age, I feel like the struggle is more painful sometimes. But I realized that it's because I'm making it a struggle.
I was texting a dear friend the other day and she was talking about how she isn’t confident about her body. All I could think was how BEAUTIFUL she is. And I said to her, “I wish you could see what I see” - I wish you could see your pure beauty and how you light up a room. I wish you could see how your skin glows or how the way you hold yourself inspires confidence in me. And while I realize it's nice to receive compliments and kind words from others - the real work is all about saying it to yourself.
And so I asked myself, can you say those kind words to yourself, Al? Can you look in the mirror and say these compliments to yourself and receive them wholeheartedly? Hmmm . . . now that's a hard one. But I did it - and it was some deep Mirror Work for sure (PS: "Mirror Work" is from a really good book from Louise Hay).
I also realized that this is where our connection comes from - her willingness to share her honest feelings with me, her willingness to show a flawed and insecure side of her usual confident self - that was brave! And this conversation, sharing with each other, made us CONNECT on a deeper level. Because her struggles, are my struggles. Her inability to see herself as a phenomenal beautiful human, is also my struggle and perhaps your struggle as well. And it's through these moments of sharing and vulnerability that we can all find healing and CONNECTION.
Why do we spend so much of our lives chasing some cure for aging? Trying to find a pill to melt the fat away, or some machine to take the wrinkles off of our face? I'm a victim myself . . . I see myself in my style videos or photos and say (not so nice) things about me. Chasing a 20 year old youth in my 40’s is fruitless, because even if I find some temporary fix, I’m going to need that fix for the rest of my life. Because when I’m 60, I’ll be longing for this 45 year old self.
So the question is, can I be happy in the present moment? Can I accept this 45 year old “softer and saggier” body, with this 45 year old face that has sun damage, laugh lines and thinning hair? The answer is not a definite YES, but I'm willing to try to work to love myself in the present moment. Because wouldn't that be a great way to live life? With a deep love and respect for my unadulterated self. . .