I used to think I was good at practicing gratefulness. But through this season of growth, I’ve realized that living in gratefulness was actually a struggle for me. And I had a strange revelation recently . . . my daily practice of gratitude in the morning left me with this odd sense of “unease.” I actually left the practice feeling more anxious then relaxed. And in a session with my friend aka my “Spiritual therapist”- we uncovered that gratefulness felt like bragging to my inner self. WUUUUTTT?!
So I sat with this and everything started connecting. I grew up as a 4th generation Japanese-American, the middle child to two hard working parents. My dad is an entrepreneur and my mom spent most of her life working in the family businesses (yes, plural - we joke that my dad was a serial entrepreneur) while taking care of us. They both worked very hard. And while we had moments of ease, most of what I remember about them running these businesses was that it was HARD. As an empathic kid, I picked up all the moments of scarcity, stress, and fear — and those became my reference points. I learned life was hard and running a business was even harder.
And here’s the funny twist: even with those lessons, I still grew up wanting to start my own business. So that childhood mantra played on – “Life is hard. Running a business is hard. It takes a lot of hard work.” And without even realizing it, that belief system followed me straight into adulthood. So when all the self-help books said, “have a daily gratitude practice,” mine felt hard before I even got started. Your gratitude practice is supposed to make me feel good inside, right? But instead, it triggered the young child in me who believed life should be hard – and listing out the things I was grateful for was bragging . . . BOOM! I was hit with the weight of this realization, and so I sat with it, asking myself these questions:
How can I get myself to accept that life can be easy? That life can be in flow? And even more than that - that I deserved an easy life?
I can’t tell you how this will all work out because I’m still in the thick of it. But even now, as I continue working through this gratefulness practice, I can say: it’s getting easier. And now, when I close my gratitude practice in the morning, I actually feel that sense of ease and gratefulness wash over me.
As painful as the process can feel sometimes, it’s worth it to look at your life and “count your blessings.” Because in a world that loops our painful experiences 24 hours a day — on the news, on our social media feeds — I want all of the good stuff on loop. And through this gratefulness journey, I can understand how this shifts every part of my life, even within my business. Because now I can allow myself to live and lead from a place of ease, not difficulty. And more than that — I can believe that each and every one of us deserves this ease as well.
I want that ease for myself, and I want that ease for you. So as we move into the season of giving, I ask you try something . . .
Pause — and give yourself the love, the gratefulness, the generosity you’ve always reserve for others. Turn all of that love, light, and energy and share it with yourself too. Because you are amazing, you are powerful, and you have given so much of yourself to others. It’s okay to rest. It’s okay to live in the moments of ease and gratefulness that are just for you.
That is what I want for myself — and that is what I want for you!
Wishing you all the best this holiday season. I hope it’s full of love and light.
-Allison
3 comments
Hi Allison
Your thoughts are so inspiring. Thank you for sharing them and making each day more meaningful so our lives become more joyful aside from everything that goes on in the world today. Appreciate your time and energy to make our lives better.
Have a prosperous year and look forward to adding more to my closet .
Allison,
Good luck with your journey, and just know that many many of us are very grateful for you and your team and what you do help us get started in the morning feeling good about ourselves. You empower us and give us the knowledge that we are not alone as we learn to work with our bodies and our self concepts.
Your designs let us see the positives while downplaying the negatives as we age and go through childbirth, menopause, surgeries and whatever else can derail us as we learn to work with the bodies we are given.
You make it easier to get to work in the mornings, dress for special occasions, pack for travel, and just celebrate.
So very grateful for you and for your intentions.
I’m grateful for your clothes. Age brings wisdom and pain, for too long women ignore discomfort in clothing. But reality screams for no zippers pressing into scar tissue, flattering drapery, a cut that isn’t for Juniors Department, colors that flatter silver grey hair and the complexion that comes with it.
Your videos on SM about matching tops and bottoms, colors are very helpful. It’s almost like having a personal shopper helping you through the choices.
Having a business is hard, staying focused is more so.
Trying to be fashionably dressed after mid 70s is harder. So many issues. But when I wear your line, that’s all I wear now, I feel fabulous. And at my age that’s a gift.
Thank you! Stay strong!